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Readymade

by Schlimminy Cricket

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1.
Hostility 01:02
Why don't you try hostility? Why don't spoil my bitter end? Why don't you fly away? Why don't you want to be my friend? Another will hover on in and never is never again I will be crawling right out of my skin Why don't you try austerity? (skin) Why don't you boil my bitter end? (skin) Why don't you fly away? Why don't you want to be my friend?
2.
No Vacancy 02:12
Sorry my friends, there's no room for you here better you had turned around we're full right up to the rafters at this party here under the ground no vacancy at the Hollywood sign no vacancy at the five and dime no vacancy at the Holliday Inn no vacancy in the dungeons of sin the dead are walking the streets tonight consider remaining indoors practice exceptional caution lest the shambling carcass be yours no vacancy at the Hollywood sign no vacancy at the five and dime no vacancy at the Liberty Bell no vacancy in the chambers of hell
3.
Fever Dream 01:38
I was once so satisfied with simple things I didn't mind the curdles for the cream but I grew complicated, and in keeping with that theme I'm asleep and life's a fever dream A fever dream created by a frenzied mind and put to work to make us think it's something more than just a tale told by a jerk so if the fury and the sound prove something less than what they seem you're asleep and I'm a fever dream Listen to the docent on the wetlands cruise he points you to a bittern and a bream the moory, marshy mallard makes a mote out of your beam once a log, but now a beaver's scheme a beaver's scheme created by a rodent swimming in the lake he hasn't got a damn to give you, but a dam he sure can make so if you see him by your wood pile, won't you take one for the team? that's a joke and I'm a beaver's dream or I'm asleep and life's a beaver's dream or you're asleep and I'm a fever dream no, life's asleep and I'm a fever dream
4.
Turkey 01:38
The smoke ascending to parts unseen to neverending fields of green turn fields of sadness to fields of joy fields of madness fields destroyed never changing, never changing is your home in the sky we salute you, Tom Turkey may your light never die
5.
That cat named Geoffrey he's a real charmer there's no-one like him he can change his face at will so he can't be detected and with a sense of honor and a code of ethics that cat's a genuine contender who can't be defeated but then there's Rocky, he's a fire dragon a hot tamale he's a student of karate-- that can't be discounted as a dark horse or an underdog he has popular support that Geoffrey never had, and now you've got to pick an animal, pick an animal declare allegiance to a Fighting Battle Animal kick an animal lick an animal any method that you use, you have got to choose at first it seems as if it's all Rocky he's slightly faster and the desert-like terrain gives him a great advantage but Geoffrey's dedication and his intuition mean he's never far behind even in hostile climates all of a sudden, there's a game changer a revelation as a portal in the heavens tears the sky asunder and down comes Mega-Rex and Steve Supreme it could be anybody's battle now, and so you really really have to pick an animal pick an animal declare allegiance to a Fighting Battle Animal kick an animal lick an animal any method that you use, you have got to choose
6.
There’s something in my head I don’t know why, I don’t know what it started in my bed it started slow then it kicked my butt I’m just one man, just a little one but my fortunes seem to be declining I should be okay, when tomorrow comes which is just to say that I’m not whining Mr. Armstrong, Mr. Jeffries This is getting to be positively terrifying Mr. Krelbourn, Mr. Tandy Please believe I never thought I’d have to say all this to you I guess I never said just why I called, I’m really sorry I think I might be dead they say i’m cooked as calimari I would come in, I would really if I thought that I’d be anything but useless and there’s screaming, and there’s burning you can hear my body boiling, can’t you? Mr. Edwards, Mr. Lively this is getting to be positively terrifying Mr. Foster, Mr. Hinckley Please believe I never thought I’d have to say all this to you Mr. Barnum, Mr. Ripley this is getting to be positively terrifying Mr. Einstein, Mr. Henry Please believe I never thought I’d have to say all this to you
7.
O, what to say? O, what could line my lips with living? O, what to do? O, what could save another day? Here comes the lie here comes the martyr here comes our leader true here comes the end here comes beginning sound now the bells anew What’s there to say? What more to have than what you’re given? What’s there to do? Why would you need another day?
8.
If I Had One 02:27
If I had one day to show the world I'm here then I think I could make them understand If I had one chance to make the nations fear then they would know the power of my hand I wouldn't have to do anything at all I wouldn't have to I'd be done I wouldn't have to make heard the battle call I wouldn't have to I'd have won I used to think that I would be the man in charge I used to think that I would have it all but now I find I'm still screaming at the stars I'm not a monolith, I'm not so tall I wouldn't have to do anything at all I wouldn't have to I'd be done I wouldn't have to make heard the battle call I wouldn't have to I'd have won
9.
The Mall 03:20
Give it up for Mr. P brought home the bacon once again won from a world of boys and men he’s a winner just like me champion of all I gaze upon soon as I get my loafers on again and it’s time to end the day down at the place where victors go down where there’s stores and picture shows just a raven’s throw away nobody in control but you free to do what you’re told to do again They’re taking me away from the mall They’re dragging me away from the mall don’t mourn for me I bear it willingly There are triangles and squares everything there is optimized there where they sell you shirts and ties there are escalating stairs you can buy anything you want they’ve got a concrete elephant in there You can sink into the crowds you don’ t have to try to disappear you can join with the atmosphere and the ocean roars so loud nobody in control but me raging against the angry sea in there they’re taking me away from the mall they’re dragging me away from the mall Just take my money Please take my money they’re taking me away from the mall they’re dragging me away from the mall (Nordstrom, shoe rack, dress barn, claire’s PacSun, macy’s, ball pit, stairs aeropostale, Spencer gifts orange julius, country’s best yogurt)
10.
well my heart's on fire (baby don't you wanna?) and my soul's on fire (baby don't you wanna?) and my skin's on fire (baby don't you wanna?) wait, my skin's on fire (baby don't you wanna?) my skin's on fire, oh help me yes, my skin's on fire (throw me in the water) things are looking dire (throw me in the water) before I expire (throw me in the water) before I expire (throw me in the water) before I expire, oh help me before I expire (obviously I'm gonna) join that heavenly choir (obviously I'm gonna) here's my last desire (obviously I'm gonna) or am I too tired? (obviously I'm gonna) Oh I'm too tired, oh help me
11.
Run together, everlasting friends toward the edge of incandescent joy embrace the point where underneath you ends do it, girlie, do it, festive boy holding hands and giggling with glee toward the edge of incandescent joy do it now for you, and now for me scamper blissful, unaware, and bright holding hands and giggling with glee sun is out, there's no such thing as night pillows lie below to catch you up scamper blissful, unaware, and bright let the runneth over fill your cup everything exists the way it should pillows lie below to catch you up when you think right, life is always good run together, everlasting friends everything exists the way it should embrace the point where underneath you ends
12.
We heard a song about a perfect love we sang along and we wrote songs about a perfect love romantic love TV didn't tell me it would be like this (no-one's ever seen the moonlight / but we all know what it looks like) This is not real TV didn't tell me it would be like this (We're all looking for a lover / all we found is one another) This is not real And I could say "baby, baby" I could say "girl" But would you believe me? I would not believe me too. Simu late the big e motion now. TV didn't tell me it would be like this (no-one's ever seen the moonlight / but we all know what it looks like) This is not real TV didn't tell me it would be like this (We're all looking for a lover / all we found is one another) This is not real
13.
Labor Day 02:01
When the heat of the summer has finally waned but the leaves haven't started to fall there's a time when a spirit of giving and love distills on the hearts of us all and the families all come together and the pauper sits down with the king and the children write letters to Eugene Debs to tell him what gifts he should bring for Labor Day, that special day when everyone's your friend when the three day weekend reminds us all that there was a time a hundred years past when you could eke out a respectable living as part of a union there's a shiny new dolly for Maddie and Jen and a 40-hour work week for Tom and women still don't get the same pay as men but I'm sure that one's coming along and we bury our white clothes and barbecue grills and we send all the kids back to school and after it's done we go back to our jobs as cronies and corporate tools after Labor Day, that special day when everyone's your friend when the three day weekend reminds us all that there was a time not long ago when governments respected the rights of the workers and social change came through organized effort at the hands of the unions

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Songs from the Internet and beyond

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released March 16, 2017

by Soren

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Schlimminy Cricket Provo, Utah

Schlimminy is for you and for me. Mostly for me. Songs about death and TV.

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