Readymade

by Schlimminy Cricket

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $5 USD  or more

     

1.
01:02
2.
02:12
3.
01:38
4.
01:38
5.
6.
7.
8.
02:27
9.
03:20
10.
11.
12.
13.
02:01

about

Songs from the Internet and beyond

credits

released March 16, 2017

by Soren

tags

license

about

Schlimminy Cricket Provo, Utah

Schlimminy is for you and for me. Mostly for me. Songs about death and TV.

contact / help

Contact Schlimminy Cricket

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Hostility
Why don't you try hostility?
Why don't spoil my bitter end?
Why don't you fly away?
Why don't you want to be my friend?
Another will hover on in
and never is never again
I will be crawling right out of my skin
Why don't you try austerity?
(skin)
Why don't you boil my bitter end?
(skin)
Why don't you fly away?
Why don't you want to be my friend?
Track Name: No Vacancy
Sorry my friends, there's no room for you here
better you had turned around
we're full right up to the rafters
at this party here under the ground
no vacancy at the Hollywood sign
no vacancy at the five and dime
no vacancy at the Holliday Inn
no vacancy in the dungeons of sin

the dead are walking the streets tonight
consider remaining indoors
practice exceptional caution
lest the shambling carcass be yours
no vacancy at the Hollywood sign
no vacancy at the five and dime
no vacancy at the Liberty Bell
no vacancy in the chambers of hell
Track Name: Fever Dream
I was once so satisfied with simple things
I didn't mind the curdles for the cream
but I grew complicated, and in keeping with that theme
I'm asleep and life's a fever dream
A fever dream created by a frenzied mind and put to work
to make us think it's something more than just a tale told by a jerk
so if the fury and the sound prove something less than what they seem
you're asleep and I'm a fever dream
Listen to the docent on the wetlands cruise
he points you to a bittern and a bream
the moory, marshy mallard makes a mote out of your beam
once a log, but now a beaver's scheme
a beaver's scheme created by a rodent swimming in the lake
he hasn't got a damn to give you, but a dam he sure can make
so if you see him by your wood pile, won't you take one for the team?
that's a joke and I'm a beaver's dream
or I'm asleep and life's a beaver's dream
or you're asleep and I'm a fever dream
no, life's asleep and I'm a fever dream
Track Name: Turkey
The smoke ascending
to parts unseen
to neverending
fields of green
turn fields of sadness
to fields of joy
fields of madness
fields destroyed
never changing, never changing
is your home in the sky
we salute you, Tom Turkey
may your light never die
Track Name: Pick An Animal
That cat named Geoffrey he's a real charmer
there's no-one like him
he can change his face at will so he can't be detected
and with a sense of honor and a code of ethics
that cat's a genuine contender who can't be defeated
but then there's Rocky, he's a fire dragon
a hot tamale
he's a student of karate-- that can't be discounted
as a dark horse or an underdog
he has popular support that Geoffrey never had, and now you've got to
pick an animal, pick an animal
declare allegiance to a Fighting Battle Animal
kick an animal
lick an animal
any method that you use, you have got to choose
at first it seems as if it's all Rocky
he's slightly faster
and the desert-like terrain gives him a great advantage
but Geoffrey's dedication and his intuition
mean he's never far behind even in hostile climates
all of a sudden, there's a game changer
a revelation
as a portal in the heavens tears the sky asunder
and down comes Mega-Rex and Steve Supreme
it could be anybody's battle now, and so you really really have to
pick an animal
pick an animal declare allegiance to a Fighting Battle Animal
kick an animal
lick an animal
any method that you use, you have got to choose
Track Name: Mister Jeffries
There’s something in my head
I don’t know why, I don’t know what
it started in my bed
it started slow
then it kicked my butt
I’m just one man, just a little one
but my fortunes seem to be declining
I should be okay, when tomorrow comes
which is just to say that I’m not whining
Mr. Armstrong, Mr. Jeffries
This is getting to be positively terrifying
Mr. Krelbourn, Mr. Tandy
Please believe I never thought I’d have to say all this to you
I guess I never said
just why I called, I’m really sorry
I think I might be dead
they say i’m cooked as calimari
I would come in, I would really
if I thought that I’d be anything but useless
and there’s screaming, and there’s burning
you can hear my body boiling, can’t you?
Mr. Edwards, Mr. Lively
this is getting to be positively terrifying
Mr. Foster, Mr. Hinckley
Please believe I never thought I’d have to say all this to you
Mr. Barnum, Mr. Ripley
this is getting to be positively terrifying
Mr. Einstein, Mr. Henry
Please believe I never thought I’d have to say all this to you
Track Name: O, What To Say?
O, what to say? O, what could line my lips with living?
O, what to do? O, what could save another day?
Here comes the lie
here comes the martyr
here comes our leader true
here comes the end
here comes beginning
sound now the bells anew
What’s there to say? What more to have than what you’re given?
What’s there to do? Why would you need another day?
Track Name: If I Had One
If I had one day to show the world I'm here
then I think I could make them understand
If I had one chance to make the nations fear
then they would know the power of my hand
I wouldn't have to do anything at all
I wouldn't have to
I'd be done
I wouldn't have to make heard the battle call
I wouldn't have to
I'd have won
I used to think that I would be the man in charge
I used to think that I would have it all
but now I find I'm still screaming at the stars
I'm not a monolith, I'm not so tall
I wouldn't have to do anything at all
I wouldn't have to
I'd be done
I wouldn't have to make heard the battle call
I wouldn't have to
I'd have won
Track Name: The Mall
Give it up for Mr. P
brought home the bacon once again
won from a world of boys and men
he’s a winner just like me
champion of all I gaze upon
soon as I get my loafers on again
and it’s time to end the day
down at the place where victors go
down where there’s stores and picture shows
just a raven’s throw away
nobody in control but you
free to do what you’re told to do again
They’re taking me away from the mall
They’re dragging me away from the mall
don’t mourn for me
I bear it willingly
There are triangles and squares
everything there is optimized
there where they sell you shirts and ties
there are escalating stairs
you can buy anything you want
they’ve got a concrete elephant in there
You can sink into the crowds
you don’ t have to try to disappear
you can join with the atmosphere
and the ocean roars so loud
nobody in control but me
raging against the angry sea in there
they’re taking me away from the mall
they’re dragging me away from the mall
Just take my money
Please take my money
they’re taking me away from the mall
they’re dragging me away from the mall
(Nordstrom, shoe rack, dress barn, claire’s
PacSun, macy’s, ball pit, stairs
aeropostale, Spencer gifts
orange julius, country’s best yogurt)
Track Name: Heart's On Fire
well my heart's on fire (baby don't you wanna?)
and my soul's on fire (baby don't you wanna?)
and my skin's on fire (baby don't you wanna?)
wait, my skin's on fire (baby don't you wanna?)
my skin's on fire, oh
help me
yes, my skin's on fire (throw me in the water)
things are looking dire (throw me in the water)
before I expire (throw me in the water)
before I expire (throw me in the water)
before I expire, oh
help me
before I expire (obviously I'm gonna)
join that heavenly choir (obviously I'm gonna)
here's my last desire (obviously I'm gonna)
or am I too tired? (obviously I'm gonna)
Oh I'm too tired, oh
help me
Track Name: Run Together, Everlasting
Run together, everlasting friends
toward the edge of incandescent joy
embrace the point where underneath you ends

do it, girlie, do it, festive boy
holding hands and giggling with glee
toward the edge of incandescent joy

do it now for you, and now for me
scamper blissful, unaware, and bright
holding hands and giggling with glee

sun is out, there's no such thing as night
pillows lie below to catch you up
scamper blissful, unaware, and bright

let the runneth over fill your cup
everything exists the way it should
pillows lie below to catch you up

when you think right, life is always good
run together, everlasting friends
everything exists the way it should
embrace the point where underneath you ends
Track Name: Stupid Postmodern Love Song
We heard a song about a perfect love
we sang along
and we wrote songs about a perfect love
romantic love
TV didn't tell me it would be like this
(no-one's ever seen the moonlight / but we all know what it looks like)
This is not real
TV didn't tell me it would be like this
(We're all looking for a lover / all we found is one another)
This is not real
And I could say "baby, baby"
I could say "girl"
But would you believe me?
I would not believe me too.
Simu
late the
big e
motion
now.
TV didn't tell me it would be like this
(no-one's ever seen the moonlight / but we all know what it looks like)
This is not real
TV didn't tell me it would be like this
(We're all looking for a lover / all we found is one another)
This is not real
Track Name: Labor Day
When the heat of the summer has finally waned
but the leaves haven't started to fall
there's a time when a spirit of giving and love
distills on the hearts of us all
and the families all come together
and the pauper sits down with the king
and the children write letters to Eugene Debs
to tell him what gifts he should bring
for Labor Day, that special day
when everyone's your friend
when the three day weekend reminds us all
that there was a time
a hundred years past
when you could eke out a respectable living
as part of a union
there's a shiny new dolly for Maddie and Jen
and a 40-hour work week for Tom
and women still don't get the same pay as men
but I'm sure that one's coming along
and we bury our white clothes and barbecue grills
and we send all the kids back to school
and after it's done we go back to our jobs
as cronies and corporate tools
after Labor Day, that special day
when everyone's your friend
when the three day weekend reminds us all
that there was a time
not long ago
when governments respected the rights of the workers
and social change came through organized effort
at the hands of the unions